I strongly dislike creative spelling

I am not sure what study indicated that allowing our 5-7 year old children to "creatively" spell their words in order to learn to read would be a good idea, but I would like a to establish my disdain for this practice. It's counter to every spelling test I ever took. It drives me nuts...I'm working with a child whose first language is Mandarin. His mouth does not form English letters or their sounds very well. Just imagine the words he writes down...I cannot begin to know what he's saying, so I find myself nodding and saying, "ahhh, good job, I think."

But, as I try to decipher this code, I flashback to reading Jacob & Sam's "creative" spelling as well, and remember how I disliked it. And, I have to wonder if this practice somehow attributed to the horrible spelling habits of my two older sons who, God bless them, would never, ever, ever receive an A+ on a paper without the use of automatic spell & grammar check.

Yes, I sound old. Yes, I typed my papers on an IBM Selectric Typewriter, with my mother shaking her head at how easy I had it from her days. But, I did keep a trusty dictionary next to it and checked it frequently. I even used a thesaurus! I did study for my spelling tests and passed them with flying colors. I did learn the difference between there & their...pair & pear...you get the picture.

Sometimes I receive emails with atrocious spelling and I will admit, my buzzer goes off, my respect level goes down, my ability to believe this person capable diminished. I must wonder...is that the effect of the creative spelling taught in schools? If so, I am quickly becoming extinct.

Please Don't Eat the Daisies

Nuggets from heaven in the form of Doris Day. I know, sounds odd, but I spent many an afternoon sitting with my mother watching Doris Day movies. So, imagine my delight when I found that AMC was highlighting Doris Day on Sunday! I sat in bed, snuggled with Anna, and watched movie after movie, singing all of the songs and remembering my mom with a huge smile & delight. It was as if she was saying, "Hi, honey...keeping an eye on you from heaven. Which Doris Day movie do you think most resembles your life?"

So, I've contemplated that...and while my blog is entitled With Six You Get Eggroll I believe I'm more in the Please Don't Eat the Daisies phase of life! Not that Philip is a pompous play critic (I just snorted when I typed that!), but I do chase around four children, and have sometimes been known to say something as odd as "Please don't eat the daisies! You should know better!" We even have a jack russell terrier that is scared of water and quite a baby! Doesn't jump in our arms, but he really is a goofball and not quite a dog.

So, thank you Doris Day, AMC and my mother for giving me a day of wonderful memories, fun songs and a movie that made me laugh at my very hectic yet blessed life!

Seeing Them as God Does

I have a friend who is an gifted photographer. She has been given an eye for capturing the heart, no, the very soul of a person. I believe that this gift comes from her great love for God and the time she has spent sharing that love with others around the world. She sees others as God sees them and He allows her to capture that on film so we might be able to understand His love for all people.

My hope is that I may see people through God's eyes, see their very soul and feel the love He has for them. May I have the ability to shower the world with His essence in all I do.

The Shy One

So, the big boys are with the student group at IYC. Always interesting to get together with the parents and compare notes when the children are away...and good to have a counselor letting us know the real 411. You think they'd know by now "mom always finds out!"

I get this text letting me know that Sam is trying for a world record in high fiving. Apparently, the child who usually avoids people like the plague, is standing at the end of a busy mall escalator high fiving everyone who gets to the bottom. I'm hoping this is the direct result of an inspirational Worship time teaching to share God's love...but I'm guessing it has more to do with the youtube video of the guy who offered free hugs...

It is harmless fun!

The Shy One...yea, right!

Mission Trip Planning

We are about to embark on an exciting journey. 46 people...families are traveling together to share God's love with Spruce Pine, NC. In preparation we've had a couple of meetings at our house. Our children have played while we have planned. Our children will travel with us to learn about mission work first-hand. Now we do the last minute prep with excitement and expectation of all God will do.

Please join our families in prayer for:
God’s protection as we travel and serve
A growing spirit of Christian family among our team
More donations of supplies – we need much more of all of the items in our list
Our open hearts and minds to the spiritual as well as the physical needs of those we serve
God’s blessing on our team and on the people and ministry of Appalachian Church Planting
The hearts of our children – let’s ask God to raise up missionaries from among our families – what a blessing that will be!
Tremendous, divine love among all the members of our team as well as our fellow servants at ACP and Western Carolina Church – Jesus said that’s our greatest evangelism tool! (John 13:35)

Then and Now

October 13, 1990

Celebrating our anniversary early in Charleston.

Yes, that's my son

We have a funny family story...five generations of the first-born sons have be given the middle name of Edward, Jacob being the fifth. However, the story goes that Jacob's great-great grandfather was skipped over for this honor. Being born one-day before a horrible cyclone hit his birth town, his father opted to name him James Cyclone after finding the newborn and his mother alive in the rubble. Story says James hated that name, went by James C. and once his son was born quickly re-established the tradition of Edward.

Well, this story was shared with me during my pregnancy. I thought it was a super cool story. I kidded Philip that we should name our child Cyclone. He certainly moved within my frame like a cyclone. In the end (and after a YOU WANT TO CALL MY GRANDCHILD WHAT? response from my mother) we named him Jacob Edward.

Fast forward a few years. Jacob loves the cyclone story. Jacob has always been a cyclone! And now, Jacob sports a "cyclonic" look on his head...the cock-eyed, crooked mohawk. And...sh...don't tell him (because I had to show the obligatory motherly eye roll at first)...I actually kind-of like it. Makes me laugh everytime I see it!

I should have gone with my instincts 15 years ago...He is Jacob Cyclone!

Who's Driving?

Our family now has a teenager with the treasured "temporary permit" that allows me to hand over my keys and let him drive. Ugh, ugh, ugh and more ugh.

It's not that I think Jacob cannot handle the task. Really, I know, he needs the practice and, for the most part does very well. But I had no idea how much WORK it is to sit in the passenger seat, knowing what needs to be done, and NOT DO IT and NOT SAY ANYTHING! Of course, if it's a major obstacle, I will speak up. It's those small things...the not slowing down soon enough for a stop sign, the hesitant gas pedal, the too fast gas pedal, (you know everything all of us have done during the learning process) that it is so hard to stay quiet about!! Because, he has to experience the herky-jerky stop, the extremely slow starts, the jump of the car to learn not to do these things.

It makes me wonder...when God gives me the keys and sits in the passenger seat how can He possibly stay so quiet when I'm about to make a wrong turn? Isn't it amazing that my creator sits patiently and quietly, allowing me to make my own wrong turns, quick stops, false starts in order to allow me to learn and become closer to Him? Wow. And, when I realize my mistake and have an oops, He's right there, encouraging me and telling me to try again, you will get this right...I am right here with you.

I am going to try to keep this in mind the next time Jacob is driving. If God can allow me room to learn from my oopsies, surely with His help I can let Jacob do the same! And thankfully, I know that God is with both of us when in the car!

Summer Fun

We enjoyed a week at Hilton Head with family in June. Philip and I even managed to escape a couple of nights to Charleston for some alone time. Thank you Bill & Becky!! Not many are willing to take on our fabulous four!

One of our favorite stops on the way home from down south...the Tamarack in West Virginia. We woke Sam up in order to stretch our legs...can you tell? Jacob, Asher & Anna were all wide awake and ready for a break - Mom & Dad were, too!

Summer Fun

It's the first full week of summer. Jacob & Sam are off running...training for their upcoming cross country season as high school teammates. Asher & Anna are getting in a groove of sandboxes, Jenga, computer, naptime (YES!), school review & late dinners. Asher loves to be outside. He also loves to pretend he's playing the guitar, hence the middle photo. Anna is working on her fashion model poses. Oh, MY!

Next week - VBS! Summer sure isn't as lazy as I remember it being when I was a kid!

Is She Yours?

Lunching with Amy the other day with Anna and I was asked, "Is she yours?" I must be getting thick skinned because I barely noticed it until Aunt Amy was like, "Well, yea she's hers!" I smiled because I know Amy has "got my back & Anna's, too!"

Actually, to be honest, Anna belongs to God. I'm her mom, but ultimately her life is in God's hands. I think that's the hardest part of parenting...handing them over to God because you recognize they are truly not "yours" to keep or to control. My job as mom is to teach them about God and encouage them seek His plan for their life.

His plan for my life was to be a mom. The plan for their lives will probably be completely different. I hope I'm ready to accept it when the time comes. But, boy do I hope some of my hopes & dreams for our children are His hopes and dreams as well.

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19 As a mom, may I become like Mary, fully understanding and staying out of the way when God's plans come to fruition in my children.

Is it Really Possible to Upload Video?

This is a video I created for Salem to invite people to join us for an outreach trip. How cool that I can upload videos directly to Blogger!! UH OH...You may be seeing a lot of these!

Let's Hear It for the Big Boys

We had a big, yummy picnic after church yesterday. Jacob & Sam helped with the grill and then took the little ones to the pond for fishing. They are such wonderful big brothers!!

Sunday Afternoons

What does our family do on a regular Sunday afternoon? Well, mom kind-of, sort-of, well...totally zones out for bit. In my zoning out in front of whatever is on the food channel, children be-bop in and out asking for various things. Today, Anna asked to do my hair, so here is a snap shot of her interpretation of Aunt Becca's job. She finished off her design by doing my make-up...somehow that picture has mysteriously been deleted.

What a delight to be a guinea pig for my daughter! Soon she'll be playing hairdresser with friends and mom will soon be forgotten. So, it's worth looking funny for an hour or so in order to spend some pretty amazing girl time with my sweet daughter.

People Can Be Mean

Asher doing the hand motions at the Christmas Musical - a true triumph!

No one knew the struggle for him to hold up his little hand for all to see...but Mom & Dad did.

I wrote the following for Asher after a day of hurtful comments from classmates.

A mother gazes upon her son and sees his imperfection:
“Today I choose to give my love - forget the world’s perception.
For I know who created you and all that He has planned…
To love and cherish His precious son, despite the world’s demand.

You see, the world cannot see you perfect, as you are in God’s eyes
Because they have forgotten the very one who gave them life.
As you grow you will know His love and His comforting care,
Because your mother leans on Him and He demands she share -

All that He has promised you - each and every day
A life full of abundance and joy along the way.
And yes, there will be trials, and words that sometimes hurt –
Questions that do not have answers…answers that seem curt.

But He will be beside us and sometimes carry us along the path
And you, my son, will show this world that He has held you steadfast.”

In Memory of Maria Sue Chapman

Sam, Mom, Jacob & Anna speak with

Mary Beth (holding Maria) about being Maria's Sponsors

A Helping Hand Reunion 2005

For many adoptive parents Steven Curtis Chapman's music has been our soundtrack. His family and their orphan ministry, Shaohannah's Hope, has raised awareness for the plights of orphans worldwide. His music speaks to all of us living in the wonder and miracle of adoption.

When I awoke this morning it was to a text message from my best friend letting me know of a tragedy. The Chapman's youngest daughter, Maria, was struck and killed in her driveway last night at age 5. Her older brother was driving that vehicle. I can't begin to know the pain and anguish that the family must have at this moment.

Maria was special to our family, too. We had her sweet photograph on our refrigerator as our sponsored child. Her smile gave me confidence when going through that crazy web of paperwork during our first adoption. She lived with Asher at PHF, toddlers together. I remember sitting in a parking lot shortly after Maria had been adopted. Steven Curtis Chapman spoke of his beautiful daughter, Maria. "Could that be our Maria?" we wondered. It was.

What a joy to watch her grow up via news of the Chapmans. I would check out Mary Beth's blog and catch up on what our little sweetie was up to and relish the photos of that precious smile. Maria was our first sponsored child, but since then we've prayed for Dinah (now adopted) and Abraham (just adopted). And as a sponsor I grow to love these faces and pray for them every day.

My prayer today is that the Chapmans can somehow find a peace in knowing that our little Maria is dancing with Jesus. Her smile is lighting up heaven and she is sharing with her Father God all the wonderful things her family is doing to find His children homes.

God, comfort us all.

What will I do When the Children Are Gone?

This was the title of an email I received today. I laughed out loud! I think the question for me is more, "When will the children be gone?" And I don't ask that wanting them gone, I just cannot see our house without children. I envision our house always having children...our children, grandchildren, foster children. I just don't see me stopping at being a "Mom" in the next twenty or so years.

I'm sure that how often children are in our home will change...but I don't believe they will every be completely "gone" from our house. And I am perfectly okay with that!!

Becoming Mom Part II

After 17 years of marriage and four children I finally feel worthy of Mother's Day. I know, shouldn't I have felt that after giving birth to our oldest son 15 years ago? Definitely should have felt it 15 months later when son #2 arrived! What about the moment our daughter was placed in my arms in a stifling hot civil affairs office in Hunan, China January 4, 2005? Maybe it was the moment when son #3 walked into the office of LFCV on September 17, 2006? No, none of these times did I ever feel completely and totally worthy of a Mother's Day Celebration.

Who knew that it would take four children for me to become the mother I now know I am meant to be? Who knew it would take being a conspicuous family and countless questions from total strangers about our Asian blessings that would finally make my "Mama Bear" instincts feel real. Maybe it's the teenage funk that's led me to the feeling of true motherhood. Maybe it is that mother-daughter bond that is so precious that led me to finally feeling like a mom of worth.

But, I think what did it, what really tipped the scales for me were three little words: "I Like Mom" They were written on the outside of my Mother's Day Gift Bag by our son, the one I have struggled with the most. When he met me he had no use for a mom. His demands and tantrums tested me to the very limits. He spent the first three months kicking, hitting and screaming at me, physically bruising my arms & legs...and emotionally bruising my heart. But now, he shares, "I Like Mom" and it makes my heart sing! I am like Sally Field, repeating the fact that he likes me, he really likes me.

Saying "I love you" came easy to this child. He used it as a tool to manipulate people for his needs. He is quite bright and quickly assesses the person so he knows how to get what he wants. But God placed me in his life and charged me with becoming his mother. I could not be his mother if I had not mothered Jacob, Sam & Anna first. As a matter of fact, I would have been woefully inadequate!

So, I have arrived. I am a mother worthy of Mother's Day. And I could have never made it to this point without my four beautiful gifts from God and my fantastic husband. And I thank them for giving me a beautiful, wonderful day of love and food. You are why God created me.