People Can Be Mean

Asher doing the hand motions at the Christmas Musical - a true triumph!

No one knew the struggle for him to hold up his little hand for all to see...but Mom & Dad did.

I wrote the following for Asher after a day of hurtful comments from classmates.

A mother gazes upon her son and sees his imperfection:
“Today I choose to give my love - forget the world’s perception.
For I know who created you and all that He has planned…
To love and cherish His precious son, despite the world’s demand.

You see, the world cannot see you perfect, as you are in God’s eyes
Because they have forgotten the very one who gave them life.
As you grow you will know His love and His comforting care,
Because your mother leans on Him and He demands she share -

All that He has promised you - each and every day
A life full of abundance and joy along the way.
And yes, there will be trials, and words that sometimes hurt –
Questions that do not have answers…answers that seem curt.

But He will be beside us and sometimes carry us along the path
And you, my son, will show this world that He has held you steadfast.”

In Memory of Maria Sue Chapman

Sam, Mom, Jacob & Anna speak with

Mary Beth (holding Maria) about being Maria's Sponsors

A Helping Hand Reunion 2005

For many adoptive parents Steven Curtis Chapman's music has been our soundtrack. His family and their orphan ministry, Shaohannah's Hope, has raised awareness for the plights of orphans worldwide. His music speaks to all of us living in the wonder and miracle of adoption.

When I awoke this morning it was to a text message from my best friend letting me know of a tragedy. The Chapman's youngest daughter, Maria, was struck and killed in her driveway last night at age 5. Her older brother was driving that vehicle. I can't begin to know the pain and anguish that the family must have at this moment.

Maria was special to our family, too. We had her sweet photograph on our refrigerator as our sponsored child. Her smile gave me confidence when going through that crazy web of paperwork during our first adoption. She lived with Asher at PHF, toddlers together. I remember sitting in a parking lot shortly after Maria had been adopted. Steven Curtis Chapman spoke of his beautiful daughter, Maria. "Could that be our Maria?" we wondered. It was.

What a joy to watch her grow up via news of the Chapmans. I would check out Mary Beth's blog and catch up on what our little sweetie was up to and relish the photos of that precious smile. Maria was our first sponsored child, but since then we've prayed for Dinah (now adopted) and Abraham (just adopted). And as a sponsor I grow to love these faces and pray for them every day.

My prayer today is that the Chapmans can somehow find a peace in knowing that our little Maria is dancing with Jesus. Her smile is lighting up heaven and she is sharing with her Father God all the wonderful things her family is doing to find His children homes.

God, comfort us all.

What will I do When the Children Are Gone?

This was the title of an email I received today. I laughed out loud! I think the question for me is more, "When will the children be gone?" And I don't ask that wanting them gone, I just cannot see our house without children. I envision our house always having children...our children, grandchildren, foster children. I just don't see me stopping at being a "Mom" in the next twenty or so years.

I'm sure that how often children are in our home will change...but I don't believe they will every be completely "gone" from our house. And I am perfectly okay with that!!

Becoming Mom Part II

After 17 years of marriage and four children I finally feel worthy of Mother's Day. I know, shouldn't I have felt that after giving birth to our oldest son 15 years ago? Definitely should have felt it 15 months later when son #2 arrived! What about the moment our daughter was placed in my arms in a stifling hot civil affairs office in Hunan, China January 4, 2005? Maybe it was the moment when son #3 walked into the office of LFCV on September 17, 2006? No, none of these times did I ever feel completely and totally worthy of a Mother's Day Celebration.

Who knew that it would take four children for me to become the mother I now know I am meant to be? Who knew it would take being a conspicuous family and countless questions from total strangers about our Asian blessings that would finally make my "Mama Bear" instincts feel real. Maybe it's the teenage funk that's led me to the feeling of true motherhood. Maybe it is that mother-daughter bond that is so precious that led me to finally feeling like a mom of worth.

But, I think what did it, what really tipped the scales for me were three little words: "I Like Mom" They were written on the outside of my Mother's Day Gift Bag by our son, the one I have struggled with the most. When he met me he had no use for a mom. His demands and tantrums tested me to the very limits. He spent the first three months kicking, hitting and screaming at me, physically bruising my arms & legs...and emotionally bruising my heart. But now, he shares, "I Like Mom" and it makes my heart sing! I am like Sally Field, repeating the fact that he likes me, he really likes me.

Saying "I love you" came easy to this child. He used it as a tool to manipulate people for his needs. He is quite bright and quickly assesses the person so he knows how to get what he wants. But God placed me in his life and charged me with becoming his mother. I could not be his mother if I had not mothered Jacob, Sam & Anna first. As a matter of fact, I would have been woefully inadequate!

So, I have arrived. I am a mother worthy of Mother's Day. And I could have never made it to this point without my four beautiful gifts from God and my fantastic husband. And I thank them for giving me a beautiful, wonderful day of love and food. You are why God created me.