Becoming Mom Part II

After 17 years of marriage and four children I finally feel worthy of Mother's Day. I know, shouldn't I have felt that after giving birth to our oldest son 15 years ago? Definitely should have felt it 15 months later when son #2 arrived! What about the moment our daughter was placed in my arms in a stifling hot civil affairs office in Hunan, China January 4, 2005? Maybe it was the moment when son #3 walked into the office of LFCV on September 17, 2006? No, none of these times did I ever feel completely and totally worthy of a Mother's Day Celebration.

Who knew that it would take four children for me to become the mother I now know I am meant to be? Who knew it would take being a conspicuous family and countless questions from total strangers about our Asian blessings that would finally make my "Mama Bear" instincts feel real. Maybe it's the teenage funk that's led me to the feeling of true motherhood. Maybe it is that mother-daughter bond that is so precious that led me to finally feeling like a mom of worth.

But, I think what did it, what really tipped the scales for me were three little words: "I Like Mom" They were written on the outside of my Mother's Day Gift Bag by our son, the one I have struggled with the most. When he met me he had no use for a mom. His demands and tantrums tested me to the very limits. He spent the first three months kicking, hitting and screaming at me, physically bruising my arms & legs...and emotionally bruising my heart. But now, he shares, "I Like Mom" and it makes my heart sing! I am like Sally Field, repeating the fact that he likes me, he really likes me.

Saying "I love you" came easy to this child. He used it as a tool to manipulate people for his needs. He is quite bright and quickly assesses the person so he knows how to get what he wants. But God placed me in his life and charged me with becoming his mother. I could not be his mother if I had not mothered Jacob, Sam & Anna first. As a matter of fact, I would have been woefully inadequate!

So, I have arrived. I am a mother worthy of Mother's Day. And I could have never made it to this point without my four beautiful gifts from God and my fantastic husband. And I thank them for giving me a beautiful, wonderful day of love and food. You are why God created me.